REVIEW: ‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You’ is an intense, anxiety-filled ride

Alas, this is not a martial arts movie. If that were the case, it would probably be, “If I Had Legs I’d Roundhouse Kick You.”

Instead, this movie focuses on a vastly overstressed mother, Linda (Rose Byrne), who doesn’t have much support in what she’s going through. Her daughter has a stomach disorder, meaning she requires the use of a feeding tube each night, and has to reach a certain level of weight for an operation.

While dealing with that, a massive hole breaks open in the ceiling of her apartment, with an accompanying busted pipe, leading to a flooded home. Oh yeah, and her husband is absent as he’s working away from home, plus she’s strained at work as a psychologist with a mix of difficult patients. Needless to say, it’s a difficult period we find the protagonist in. Continue reading “REVIEW: ‘If I Had Legs I’d Kick You’ is an intense, anxiety-filled ride”

REVIEW: ‘No Other Choice’ is an absolutely brilliant black comedy

I know job hunting can be tough sometimes, but, yeesh.

That’s mainly what the lead character is going through in this new dark dramatic comedy from South Korean director Park Chan-wook. The film stars Lee Byung-hun as Yoo Man-su, a blue-collar paper factory worker who seems to have everything.

He lives in his childhood home he bought back, has achieved a solid middle-class status, and supports his wife Lee Mi-ri (Son Ye-Jin), as well as his two children and twin golden retrievers. That all changes when he, and several others are laid off from the factory. It leads to months of unemployment, hard times, and desperate decisions for the movie’s protagonist. 

Continue reading “REVIEW: ‘No Other Choice’ is an absolutely brilliant black comedy”

REVIEW: Ari Aster’s ‘Eddington’ is absolutely abysmal

This year’s slate from A24 has been unsatisfactory so far, to say the least.

The latest movie from the studio, which has released many films that have populated my top 10 lists over the last decade, is set in 2020, a year we all remember but would rather forget. As the name implies, the picture is set in the town of Eddington, New Mexico where a mayoral race is underway.

The favorite is incumbent Ted Garcia (Pedro Pascal), but he soon gets a challenge from the county sheriff, Joe Cross (Joaquin Phoenix). In addition to being at odds already with Garcia for past issues, Cross is motivated to run by his many disagreements with the handling of the coronavirus pandemic. Eventually, the race starts to turn ugly.

Continue reading “REVIEW: Ari Aster’s ‘Eddington’ is absolutely abysmal”

REVIEW: Funny. Provocative. Intense. ‘Anora.’

So, this film is sort of like “Pretty Woman,” if things went really off the rails, and Richard Gere was Russian.

Well, there are actually quite a few more differences all things considered. In “Anora,” Mikey Madison stars as the titular character who makes a living as a stripper and escort. Her day-to-day routine of working at a Manhattan club is interrupted when she’s hired by Ivan (Mark Eydelshteyn), the son of a wealthy Russian oligarch.

Initially hired for her escort services, Ivan later continues to pay Anora, or Ani as she likes to be called, to be his live-in girlfriend. After spending more time together, he ends up marrying the young woman. However, Anora’s new life in luxury is threatened when Ivan’s family finds out, and are furious at the news.

Continue reading “REVIEW: Funny. Provocative. Intense. ‘Anora.’”

REVIEW: ‘Lisa Frankenstein’ is frankly not good at all

There’s an old meme out there that would describe any trashy romance as “still being better than ‘Twilight.’” That can’t be said about “Lisa Frankenstein.”

As one might guess, this film centers on a character named Lisa. A teenager, Lisa (Kathryn Newton) is a goth girl who is trying to move on with her life after her mother’s murder. In the present, she lives with her father, insufferable stepmother and her kind stepsister.

With her annoying stepmother at home and a lack of enjoyment at school, Lisa’s only joy comes from spending time at a small cemetery. That cemetery happens to be the  resting place of a Victorian era pianist, and, through a strike of magic lightning, that musician (Cole Sprouse) comes back to life, and seeks out Lisa.

Continue reading “REVIEW: ‘Lisa Frankenstein’ is frankly not good at all”

REVIEW: Excessive depravity doesn’t salvage ‘Saltburn’

“Saltburn” is an appropriate title for this flick, because things get really salty, and then some.

Set in 2006, “Saltburn” opens at Oxford University where young student Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan) is just beginning to attend on a scholarship. He initially struggles to fit in among many wealthier peers, but manages to eventually befriend another student, Felix (Jacob Elordi).

After forming a friendship, Felix invites Oliver to spend the summer at his family’s mansion, titled Saltburn. There, Oliver experiences parties, sex, drugs and all of the other things available to the rich. However, the setting becomes tense as Oliver begins showing darker tendencies.

Continue reading “REVIEW: Excessive depravity doesn’t salvage ‘Saltburn’”

REVIEW: ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ is excellent

After this movie, you’ll never look at googly eyes the same way again.

This film stars Michelle Yeoh as a woman, Evelyn, who owns and operates a laundromat with her husband, Waymond (Jonathan Ke Quan). Their marriage has become strained, though, and she doesn’t have the best relationship with her daughter, Joy (Stephanie Hsu), either. On top of her family matters, Evelyn also has to deal with an audit into the laundromat by the IRS.

At a meeting with an IRS employee, Evelyn is contacted by different version of her husband from another universe who informs her that she may be the only being in the multi-verse who can prevent a calamity. To do so, Evelyn will have to tap into abilities from other versions of herself from alternate universes.

Continue reading “REVIEW: ‘Everything Everywhere All At Once’ is excellent”

REVIEW: ‘Worst Person in the World’ is a well-made Norwegian feature

“The Worst Person in the World” is far from the worst movie in the world.

This film, from Norway, stars Renate Reinsve as Julie, a young woman who’s having trouble deciding what to do in life. The movie starts with Julie studying to become a doctor, before switching majors to psychology. Early on in the movie, she does this again, deciding to pursue a career in photography.

Her romantic life is fairly similar. Early in the picture, she meets and begins a relationship with Aksel, a successful comic artist. As their relationship is humming along, though, she meets another man, Eivind (Herbert Nordrum). Like her academic career, Julie feels herself being pulled in more than one direction romantically.

Continue reading “REVIEW: ‘Worst Person in the World’ is a well-made Norwegian feature”

REVIEW: ‘I Care a Lot’ crumbles due to poor writing

Sometimes there are pieces of media that just try way too hard to be edgy. “I Care a Lot” definitely joins that club.

Rosamund Pike stars as Marla Grayson in “I Care a Lot,” a woman who’s made a career as a legal guardian for the elderly. As part of her job, Grayson will get a notice from a doctor she works with stating that an elderly person can no longer live on her own, which she brings to a court.

In turn, the court will then grant legal guardianship to Grayson, allowing her to determine the care for the elderly person, which results in her putting them in an assisted living facility. It also means she has access to the elderly individual’s finances. The latest individual she decides to get legal guardianship over, Jennifer Peterson (Diane Wiest), though, just happens to have a significant connection to Russian mob boss Roman Lunyov (Peter Dinklage).

Continue reading “REVIEW: ‘I Care a Lot’ crumbles due to poor writing”

REVIEW: ‘Promising Young Woman’ is pinnacle revenge filmmaking

Some take vengeance in a swift manner, while others take the long approach with a more calculated plan.

“Promising Young Woman” is about the latter, and it makes for one of 2020’s best films.

Cassandra is the main character of the movie, and is portrayed by Carey Mulligan. A medical school dropout, Cassandra lives at home with her parents and works at a quaint coffee shop. By night, though, she plays a different role. Her evenings are spent in clubs, where she pretends to be drunk until a sleazy guy decides to take her to their home. Once there, she reveals that she’s actually sober and revels in their guilt.

By the start of the film, Cassandra seems to have been doing this for a while. Her drive is the memory of her friend, who was raped in college and also dropped out before passing away. As the first act gets underway, Cassandra discovers ways she can get back directly at those who wronged her friend, as well as those who didn’t listen to her story after. At the same time, she also reconnects with another old friend from med school.

Continue reading “REVIEW: ‘Promising Young Woman’ is pinnacle revenge filmmaking”