REVIEW: ‘Snow White’ is an aggressively mediocre remake

Hi ho, hi ho, a walk through the uncanny valley we go.

The latest adaptation of the “Snow White” story and the most recent in a string of live action remakes of classic Disney animated features stars Rachel Zegler in the titular role. After the loss of her mother, Snow White, a princess, sees her father get remarried to a mysterious woman (Gal Gadot).

A short time later, Snow White’s father disappears and is assumed dead, allowing the woman to assume power as queen, to which she uses to become an authoritarian ruler. Seeing her stepdaughter as a threat, the Queen sets out to have Snow White killed, but the princess escapes and on the outskirts of the kingdom, meets new friends and allies.

“Snow White,” like other modern adaptations, is a mix of new and old. As a remake of the animated feature from the 1930s, there’s plenty of familiar sights and sounds when it comes to costumes, songs and the overall premise. At the same time, there’s some new features as well, from songs to character motivations.

Unfortunately, as has been the case with most of Disney’s live action adaptations, the result is rather mediocre, or below mediocre in this case. What’s new isn’t all that exciting or add much to the fairy tale, while what’s old is recreated with good attention to detail, but feels like an uninspired clone.

One can somewhat appreciate the story being expanded to have Snow White have more of an active role in wanting to take back the kingdom from the Evil Queen. Giving the protagonist something more to do isn’t a bad thing in theory, but it never feels quite authentic here. 

All of the plot elements added feels more like padding to extend the runtime and make it a bigger feature than its 80-minute counterpart from the 30s. It fails to do what 2023’s “The Little Mermaid” did, which added more to the story in a convincing way by making any new plot thread feel like a natural extension of Ariel’s character arc.

Again, what’s added isn’t awful. For example, switching the prince with a rebel character opposed to the Evil Queen, played by Andrew Burnap, creates a bit of fun swashbuckling. Yet none of it really sticks with a viewer as premium entertainment or emotionally powerful. 

Where the film really loses an audience, though, is with the dwarfs, who aren’t included in the title this time around. To put it simply, they look like cartoons, and it is so damn noticeable in every single scene. Obviously, there are some films where the cartoons are meant to look like cartoons interacting with real people, like in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.”

But when a film is trying to make everything else look lifelike and asks the audience to see these seven characters the same way they see the other protagonists, these animated dwarfs stick out like the sorest of thumbs. Every time they are on screen it takes a person out of the movie because it’s so apparent that the other characters are interacting with nothing.

Had the movie cast actual actors with dwarfism, or used the method that was done in “Lord of the Rings” to make the hobbits, or anything else to make the dwarfs look lifelike, it could have worked. But this just doesn’t, a person looks at the screen and knows what they’re seeing isn’t real.

Maybe if these were fantasy creatures like ogres or trolls it could work, but the dwarfs are clearly supposed to be more humanoid.

Unfortunately, that’s not where the problems end, as Gadot’s performance is also completely lacking. She misses any sort of deviousness or malice, with only constant brooding as her approach to the Evil Queen. I kept wishing for Angelina Jolie’s Maleficent to show up and take over villain duties.

Zegler, meanwhile is fine in the titular role. This Snow White, like the original, has a pure heart of gold and is properly hopeful and compassionate. Zegler captures that and makes the character work well enough, plus as she’s proven before, she can sing quite well. Burnap’s take on his rebel figure works alright, too.

“Snow White” isn’t a terrible adaptation but it does nothing special for a person to rush out and see it, either. New plot elements add little, the film lacks personality, the lead villain is forgettable because of the performance and the dwarfs look completely fake. Still, there’s enough spectacle and songs that are done well enough to keep it from being a total loss. 2.5 out of 5.