It’s New Year’s Eve and 2024 is almost out the door! But before we say goodbye to the year, it’s time for one last look back at the worst the past 12 months had to offer in cinema.
As with most years, there are some usual suspects on the list (“Madame Web”), but there’s also those where I seem to be in the minority. However, I’m willing to accept that because sometimes a movie just doesn’t work for yours truly.
Check out what made my list below.
10. IF
Out of all the films released in 2024, this one felt the most like it was using the first draft of a script. The movie is unbelievably underwritten, as a rudderless story continuously abandons plot threads and entire characters from A to B. The details around the main conflict of the film are also underdeveloped.
The protagonist’s father is staying in a hospital for few days to have an operation, but the audience isn’t given much information on it, so we don’t really know the stakes. Worst of all, there’s no internal consistency, something integral to a fantasy picture. There are basically no rules to how the imaginary friends work, it’s all random. It also doesn’t help that the tone is inconsistent.
9. Argyle
Matthew Vaughn has made some really good movies over the years. This wasn’t one of them. Everything that has usually worked in most of his films, a mix of cartoonish and brutal action, wise-cracking characters, vibrant colors and an overall quirky edge, all seem overly done without the nuance and emotional resonance to balance things.
Also not helping the picture is an absolutely convoluted story with twists added just for the sake of it, plus a predictable reveal that isn’t all that great. On top of that, the dialogue is really poor, with it coming across as artificial. Even the action is a letdown, with two set pieces in the third act that are downright stupid and cringe-worthy.
8. The American Society of Magical Negroes
This is a movie that had an interesting concept, with potential to explore themes of race and African American roles in media. Unfortunately, the movie drops the ball so hard because it gets bogged down by a simplistic romantic plot. It sinks any attempt at the movie being a deeper experience.
The relationship is too by-the-books to really be enjoyable and it creates a poor love triangle to boot. It really doesn’t help that one of the characters in that triangle, the guy the protagonist is supposed to help, is made way too unlikable and lacking in empathetic awareness, meaning there’s no complexity to the situation.
7. Night Swim
Director Bryce McGuire’s “Night Swim” was a feature version of his 2014 short film that had the same title. As a short film under five minutes, a concept of a haunted swimming pool isn’t that bad. Stretching it out to a full-length picture, though, does not work at all. Even at just an hour and a half, “Night Swim” is being pulled beyond its capacity.
There aren’t any new ideas at play either, as this thing was loaded with generic tropes usually seen in films with a haunting. In fact, some of the attempts to scare an audience are downright laughable. The film is rather poorly written as well.
6. Drive Away Dolls
Despite having some talent in front of and behind the camera, “Drive-Away Dolls” ended up being one of the worst films of the year. One half of the Coen brothers helmed the project and it starred a couple talented actresses, yet turned out to be a total disappointment.
The execution is messy and the humor really doesn’t work. Also, this movie is set in 1999, right before New Year’s Eve, and yet it features a bunch of psychedelic-like imagery and vibes as if it was a 60s or 70s type film. It doesn’t really make sense, there are almost no 90s needle drops or mentions of that decade’s pop culture.
One would hope for some fun hijinks and antics in a buddy road movie, but that’s limited here. There are also a lot of sex-related jokes despite this not really being structured as a sex comedy. Even at only 85 minutes, this one went on too long. Its low rating was well deserved.
5. Kung Fu Panda 4
The first two “Kung Fu Panda” movies earned places on my top 10 lists for 2008 and 2011. Sadly, the series has come to this, the fourth installment landing in the bad list. This is a film with a poor character arc for its protagonist, weak humor and completely lacks the emotional highs of others in the franchise.
Perhaps what’s worse is how this film straight up ignores things that happened in the last three films, which I covered at length in my review. Not helping things was a completely forgettable villain with no good motivation. Another detriment was the introduction of completely forgettable side characters, who replaced the Furious Five. They don’t even show up except for a small cameo.
Apparently, a lot of the issues in the film stem from a production that was a bit messy, with part of the creative team going for a more commercialized picture. Co-director Stephanie Ma Stine shared what unfortunately was cut from the picture in a Q & A Reddit thread that was made into a YouTube video, which is worth watching.
4. Madame Web
It’s amazing when you know a movie is going to be bad right from the start, and that’s what we had here with “Madame Web.” The film opens with excruciating expositional dialogue, and never recovers. Worse than the awful script, though, was the fact that this movie wasn’t even really a “Madame Web” film, but rather a prequel to a flick that doesn’t exist.
The movie introduces three teen girls who are destined to be future Spider heroes, and the film plays out like a prequel to how these protagonists got their start, as if we know these characters because the audience is familiar with “Spider-Man” adjacent things. This is backed up by the movie being set in 2003, and even includes a scene where Peter Parker is about to be born.
One wonders why they went this route and didn’t just make the movie an origin story for Madame Web, y’know, the one with the name on the poster? Why did we need these future Spider women? Instead of it being her story driving the film, Web plays a more supportive role to the three girls. Oh, and the film features one of the worst comic book movie villains ever.
3. Back to Black
Most musical biopics, good or bad, are films that give a viewer insight into the artistry of the performer. A viewer can gain a new perspective on how the musician’s creativity works and how they developed songs many people love.
“Back to Black” doesn’t really do a lot of that, though, as just a sliver is dedicated to Amy Winehouse’s career. What’s shown instead here feels exploitive, centering on a lot of drama. It’s an unflattering portrait of Winehouse where she’s often shown as argumentative, physically abusive and suffering from her alcoholism.
It’s not a particularly well-acted film either. To be fair, though, this movie was a hard sell as I never listened to Amy Winehouse’s music, and wasn’t that familiar with her career at all. But even then, this is a not a good picture.
2. Lisa Frankenstein
Somehow, this movie managed to garner some fans. I’m not one of them. This was an insufferable one hour and 40 minutes. Unlike other good romance films that have featured monsters (“Warm Bodies,” “Shape of Water”), “Lisa Frankenstein” lacks an endearing central relationship, effective dark comedy and a good main character.
She isn’t likable at all, yet the movie tries to make her out as some anti-hero. Sorry, but her attempts at being a moody teen in the vein of Wednesday Adams or Lydia Deetz falls flat. What’s worse is most Frankenstein adaptations have the titular character be more villainous, like a mad scientist. If anything, that’s the direction this should have gone.
I wasn’t impressed with Cole Sprouse’s stumbling around like a zombie, either. The worst part of the movie is its script, though, with awful writing from Diablo Cody. What she wrote is paired with poor direction from Zelda Williams, who helmed an oddly paced, poorly plotted and tonally confused feature.
1. The Crow
So, to be fair, I’ll acknowledge two things. One, I have some bias as I love the 1990s film. And two, this picture isn’t technically a remake of that, but rather a new adaptation of the original graphic novel. So, it’s not entirely fair to compare this one-to-one with the 1994 feature. However, I can say there were a lot of things that movie did right that this movie didn’t do.
For example, the 1994 film had a distinct gothic appearance and style. The streets, buildings and costumes had a grit and grime that made the film feel lived in. There is a plethora of iconic shots as well. The new movie instead looks just kind of like a generic modern action flick. There’s just not that much flair.
But even if one was to look at it as an average action revenge movie, this one falters. Maybe the worst issue is we don’t even get to any revenge action until an hour in. The first 60 minutes the audience watches an edgy romance one would find in a teen flick unfold. It’s badly written and not at all endearing.
It doesn’t help that the woman who plays Shelly doesn’t really have acting experience. The villain was forgettable, too. Plus, while there is some gruesome action, it doesn’t feel like there’s much emotion behind it for Eric, which should be the case in revenge movies.
Matthew Liedke on Film 