The Pirates! Band of Misfits review

Director:
Peter Lord, Jeff Newitt
Cast:
Hugh Grant
Imelda Staunton
David Tennant
Salma Hayek
Rated: PG

Going the animated route is probably the only way Hugh Grant could ever play a pirate.

“The Pirates! Band of Misfits” follows the story of the character The Pirate Captain (Grant), a pirate who has been around for years yet has never reached the pinnacle of success for his field, the pirate of the year award. The year that the story takes place though, The Pirate Captain decides to try and get the award at any means necessary.

One day while out pillaging a ship he comes across Charles Darwin (Tennant). Darwin informs the captain that his parrot that usually sits on his shoulder is actually a rare bird and not a parrot at all, and that he should go to London to win the grand prize from the science exhibit that’s going on. However going to London is dangerous since Queen Victoria (Staunton) hates pirates with all of her being.

Continue reading “The Pirates! Band of Misfits review”

Cabin in the Woods review

Director:
Drew Goddard
Cast:
Kristen Connoly
Chris Hemsworth
Anna Hutchison
Fran Kranz
Jesse Williams
Richard Jenkins
Bradley Whitford
Rated: R

To bad Chris Hemsworth didn’t have his Thor powers in this movie, then it would’ve been a real party.

“The Cabin in the Woods” looks from the trailers like it could be your average five teens get stuck in the middle of no where and get killed off one by one type film, however as soon as the film opens it is revealed that it is far different then that. The film actually sets up a world where the entire situation that the supposed protagonists are going through is staged by a large powerful agency with it’s own agenda.

Once the film establishes these two pieces we follow the characters at the cabin and how they are being watched and even manipulated by the agency into going through some classic horror movie tropes.

Continue reading “Cabin in the Woods review”

American Pie: Reunion review

Director:
Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg
Cast:
Jason Biggs
Alyson Hannigan
Chris Klein
Thomas Ian Nichols
Seann William Scott
Eddie Kaye Thomas
Eugene Levy
Rated: R

They should have just let the franchise die.

American Reunion is the fourth installment in the American Pie series (not including the horrible straight to DVD flicks) that reunites the entire cast of the original film. The movie picks up with the main character of the franchise, Jim Levenstein (Biggs), who is having a bit of trouble in marriage to Michelle (Hannigan).

At the same time he finds out about a reunion at his high school which all his friends will be attending. When he arrives there Jim and the whole gang come together and start getting into their antics which they have been in before in the previous installments. As the reunion goes on each of them discovers things about themselves and old relationships.

Continue reading “American Pie: Reunion review”

Wrath of the Titans review

Director:
Jonathan Liebesman
Cast:
Sam Worthington
Liam Neeson
Ralph Fiennes
Edgar Ramirez
Rosamund Pike
Rated: PG-13

How does Sam Worthington keep getting more bland with each movie?

“Wrath of the Titans” is the follow-up to the 2010 film “Clash of the Titans.” In this installment, we find our protagonist Perseus (Worthington), the demigod son of Zeus (Neeson) trying to live a normal life as a fisherman. However Zeus informs Perseus that the Gods are losing their power and need to re seal the titans, especially Zeus’ father Chronos to stop the end of the world.

Perseus declines and Zeus tries to do it with just the help of Posiden and his other son Ares, however Ares teams up with Hades (Fiennes) and defeats Posiden and capture Zeus. Because of this, the only hope left for the world is Perseus, and he must team up with the Queen of Greece Andromeda (Pike) and Posiden’s demigod son Agenor (Ramirez).

Continue reading “Wrath of the Titans review”

The Hunger Games review

Director:
Gary Ross
Cast:
Jennifer Lawrence
Josh Hutcherson
Donald Sutherland
Woody Harrelson
Rated: PG-13

Amazing how the technology in this flick ranges from the 1800s to the control deck of the Starship Enterprise.

“The Hunger Games” is set in what can be described as a post-apocalyptic future where the main country where the story takes place is divided up into 12 separate districts and one large capital city. In the Capital resides the government and the richest of the population, where as the 12 separate districts are where the poor live.

To keep order and peace in the country and stay in control, the government created ‘The Hunger Games’ where one young man and woman would be chosen from each district and compete in a survival/fight-to-the-death competition. Our main character, Katniss (Lawrence) was originally not suppose to participate in the games however her sister gets picked and because of this she volunteers herself to take her sister’s place. The movie then follows Katniss’ journey of learning about the capital and fighting in the hunger games itself.

Continue reading “The Hunger Games review”

Casa De Mi Padre review

Director:
Matt Piedmont
Cast:
Will Ferrell
Diego Luga
Genesis Rodriguez
Efren Ramirez
Rated: R

The latest Will Farrell film follows his character Armando, a man working on his father’s ranch in Mexico. Armando mainly lives a quite life however he starts to see that there are a lot of drug killings going on. Things get worse as his brother Raul (Luga) comes back home and is discovered to be in the drug business as well.

All the while Armando becomes infatuated with Raul’s fiance Sonia (Rodriguez), this begins to all cause tension as a drug war begins to start in the families lands, and it falls on Armando’s shoulders to protect the family honor.

Continue reading “Casa De Mi Padre review”

21 Jump Street review

Director:
Phil Lord & Chris Miller
Cast:
Jonah Hill
Channing Tatum
Dave Franco
Rob Riggle
Ice Cube
Rated: R

Channing Tatum is surprisingly at his best when in comedies.

21 Jump Street is the updated re-imagining of the 80s cop show. The film follows two characters, Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum). During their high school years the two didn’t exactly get along with Jenko being popular and Schmidt not being in the ‘incrowd’ however they meet up again during their time at a police academy and team up to overcome their obstacles, becoming friends in the process.

The story picks up with them just as they are getting into their jobs on the force, however the two mess things up quite a bit and are re assigned to an operation called 21 Jump Street, where young looking cops infiltrate high schools to crack down on crime. The two are sent to a high school to deal with a new drug however Schmidt gets a little caught up in trying to have a new high school experience.

Continue reading “21 Jump Street review”

John Carter review

Director:
Andrew Stanton
Cast:
Taylor Kitsch
Lynn Collins
Samantha Morton
Willem Dafoe
Mark Strong
Rated: PG-13

The movie was originally going to be called “John Carter of Mars,” then in the movie they called him John Carter of Earth. Maybe they just couldn’t make up their damn minds.

John Carter is a sci fi adventure film following the title character, a Civil War vet who is now known by reputation as being a dangerous criminal. One day when making a get away from a group of basically cowboys and indians he stumbles across a cave with all sorts of designs on the walls.

He is then transported to Mars by an amulet and finds out that the planet is made up by three different factions who are all hostile towards each other. He soon meets the leader of one of the factions named Tars Tarkas (Dafoe) as well as the princess from another faction named Helium (Thoris). After he makes some alliances he sets out to take down Sab Than (West).

Continue reading “John Carter review”

Gone review

Director:
Heitor Dhalia
Cast:
Amanda Seyfried
Daniel Sunjuta
Emily Wickersham
Wes Bently
Rated: PG-13

Interesting name since it will be gone from theaters probably by next week.

“Gone,” a thriller is Amanda Seyfried’s latest film in which she plays a woman named Jill who is haunted by a past, traumatic experience. A few years before the start of the story, Jill was kidnapped and brought out into the middle of the woods by a serial killer but managed to escape. Since then she has lived in paranoia of when he will strike.

It just so happens that one night, he does strike again and this time he makes it personal when he kidnaps Jill’s sister Molly (Wickersham). This sets off Jill on a man hunt for the killer as she goes around picking up clues as to her sister’s captor. She has to be careful, though, as the police are after her as well, believing that she made the whole thing up.

Continue reading “Gone review”

Act of Valor

Director:
Mike McCoy & Scott Waugh
Cast:
Alex Veadov
Roselyn Sanchez
Nestor Serrano
Emilio Rivera
Rated: R

Should’ve just been called “Call of Duty: The Movie.”

“Act of Valor” is a new film about war, centering on a unit of Navy SEALS, played by actual military personnel. The film starts with them in training back in the states. However duty calls and the team must go across the world using all of their combined efforts and technologies to hunt down and stop a terror cell from striking inside the United States.

The plot of this film is amazingly weak, with it barely having a structured narrative. The film constantly flips back and forth to different locations (with an annoying map display every time it does) making for a very disjointed experience. I said it could’ve been a movie of Call of Duty and the reason is that that’s the way it plays out. There’s the mission and then a cut scene followed by another mission.

Continue reading “Act of Valor”