The many complexities that exist in a relationship, even a loving one, come up in this smart dramatic comedy.
“You Hurt My Feelings,” written and directed by Nicole Holofcener, stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Beth. The film opens with Beth, an author and writing-class teacher, feeling somewhat discouraged. Despite her efforts over the last several months, her latest novel just isn’t getting a great response from her agent.
That feeling only grows when she overhears her husband Don (Tobias Menzies) saying to another person that he doesn’t like her new book, despite saying otherwise to her face. The rest of the movie explores how this impacts their relationship and the people around them.
Writer/director Nicole Holofcener quite nicely captures an important aspect of the human condition in this pleasant slice of life dramedy. The film, in a very authentic way, details how unconditional love can lead to unbridled support, even if the person giving said support may be forcing it.
It’s an age-old question of whether a person should be completely honest about a subject with a loved one or hold back their true opinions as a means of making that person happy. The question is brought up through a lot of relationships in this picture, not just between spouses, but also between parents and their kids.
Holofcener’s direction allows the audience to see all of the nuance in these interactions that drive the movie forward, and her writing brings an important realness to the film. The characters and their feelings are all quite relatable, which keeps a viewer invested in their experience over the course of the film’s hour and a half runtime.
What really makes the movie work well is how it’s clear these characters do love each other and their actions are based on that love. Both Don and Beth are completely reasonable when it comes to this situation, with each having valid opinions and reasons for their behavior.
Beth is right to be upset over Don not sharing his true opinion on her writing, while Don was trying to be fully supportive of his wife and continues to have her back throughout the movie. It allows for drama, without falling into melodrama.
This is also another film that showcases Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ great talents in dramatic comedies, with the last one being “Downhill,” which came out shortly before the pandemic hit. She excels at portraying characters who are humorous, endearing, witty and vulnerable, and this film is no exception.
The cast is well rounded too by Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed and Owen Teague, as well as small appearances by David Cross and Amber Tamblyn. The latter two are good in adding some cynical comedy to the formula while the former actors are convincing in portraying characters who are caught in the mix of the main situation.
“You Hurt My Feelings” is a good film about a very real thing that comes with most relationships. At 90 minutes, it’s a rather simple picture, but the authenticity it captures in how people communicate with loved ones offers plenty to keep a person interested. Add in a great cast, and it’s a 4 out of 5.
Matthew Liedke on Film 
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