REVIEW: UnfasTEN your seatbelts, ‘Fast X’ shows the ride is over

Didn’t you watch the last movie, meathead? Hell, you’re doing the same thing that it did.

In the 11^th movie in this franchise, the audience learns that the villain this time around was wronged by the heroes during the heist in part five. In the present day, the Fast crew is still going on spy missions for the secretive Agency, with the latest taking place in Rome.

The antagonist Dante (Jason Momoa) makes his presence known to the family during said mission, though, and nearly destroys Rome in the process. From there, the Agency basically has the Fast crew take the fall, which puts them on the run not only from the relentless Dante, but law enforcement as well.

It’s hard to care about anything in these movies anymore. The tires keep spinning but the car just isn’t going anywhere. This is the third time in the last few movies where a villain was wronged by Dominic in the past and is now out for revenge. It’s exhausted at this point.

In a previous review about “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3,” it was noted that the adventure and antagonist being somewhat underwhelming was made up for by the fact that it was still enjoyable to spend time with the characters. Well the adventure and antagonist both underwhelm in “Fast X,” and unfortunately, so do the characters.

Every character in this franchise has become more and more of a caricature, to the point where now they’re almost robotic. They all lack any deeper personality, and are honestly forgettable. That’s not all, either. There’s also the fact that a viewer never worries about their safety.

No one stays dead in this franchise. Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty was dead, but came back in part 6. Sung Kang’s Han character died in part 3, and was brought back in part 9.  That brings us to this movie. Gal Gadot’s character Gisele, who fell from a plane going extremely fast onto a runway and left for dead, shows up the latest installment perfectly fine.

Now, that’s a bit of a spoiler. But honestly, the movie series doesn’t seem to care much about these characters anyways. Look at John Cena’s Jakob character, for example. The cold, assassin villain of “F9” who suddenly is a fun-loving, protective uncle this time around.

Speaking of villains, an audience’s mileage with this movie may come down to how much they enjoy Mamoa’s Dante. From my perspective, his schtick gets old really quick. The character is basically Heath Ledger’s Joker with an extra helping of campy quirkiness.

Sure, it sets him apart from other antagonists in the franchise, but it’s also difficult to find him all that menacing. His goofy behavior is taken too far, such as a part where he’s doing a pedicure during some down time, that it just makes someone roll their eyes. Mamoa is giving it his all, but it just doesn’t work.

On the protagonist side, meanwhile, there’s not much happening. Vin Diesel’s Dominic seems to have less personality with each new movie, while Tyrese Gibson’s Roman has a half baked subplot about his leadership abilities. The only one with a somewhat interesting story thread is Rodriguez’s Letty who’s being held prisoner by the government.

Of course, the big thing keeping a person at least glued to the screen with their brain off during these movies was the action, but even that is just tired at this point. With each new installment, this series has increased the capabilities of what automobiles can do, and there are diminishing returns every time.

Probably the best example of this is the sequence involving a giant bowling ball of a bomb that continues to roll through Rome with the characters trying to stop it. The action was already cartoonish the last few movies, but that’s getting into Looney Tunes territory.

These scenes simply pale in comparison to other car-related action scenes in movies such as “Mad Max: Fury Road,” “Baby Driver” and last year’s “Batman” film. Everything feels artificial with an overuse of CGI these days in the “Fast” movies, and considering how characters turn out, there aren’t many stakes, either.

It also has to be noted that this movie ends on a cliffhanger, basically trying to pull an “Empire Strikes Back” or “Infinity War.” The truth is, this series doesn’t have the depth or gravitas to do this type of story-telling, and attempting it makes the film more laughable.

The first “Fast and Furious” movie actually had some humanity as a crime film with an attitude, while parts 4-6 were able to be entertaining, high-octane pictures with some grounded elements. However, after the emotional sendoff that was “Furious 7” which featured the late Paul Walker, the series has been on a decline with this hitting rock bottom. 1 out of 5.